


Avanti veloce

by DinoDad



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Gen, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-14
Updated: 2019-03-14
Packaged: 2019-11-18 04:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18113504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinoDad/pseuds/DinoDad
Summary: (Y/N) shows the boys how real teenagers act when adults are not around.





	Avanti veloce

**Author's Note:**

> (Y/N ) kidnaps Kakyoin And Jotaro nearly commits homicide.

September 17, 1988  
6:57 P.M.  
Words: 

Walking around the humble home you felt the memories rushing back. You remembered playing here all the time when you were a kid. You used to come here so often that you would come straight to the house right after school without even going home. 

Sometimes you would even wake up early in the mornings, when the sun was still starting to rise, to come over and play with your childhood friend. 

Of course, you had even hanged out with your friend even when you both went to middle school. But it didn't last long as in the middle of your school year you had to move to another continent. It was a heartbreaking moment to say at least but you knew you would see him again. So when you finally moved back into Japan by yourself you couldn't have been any happier. 

Going to the door of your beloved friend, JoJo, you couldn't help but feel your body rush with energy. After all, you haven't seen him in two whole years but you'll be dammed if that ever ruined your friendship. 

So opening the door you loudly announced with joy, "My dear friend, JoJo! I have returned from the land of eagles with gifts after being away for so long-"

"Shut the hell up!"

Of course, hearing those words you instantly froze up. Looking at that dammed delinquent that was in JoJo's room you have never felt so offended before. 

Who did this NEET think he was talking to? How dare he tell you to shut the fuck up?!

"Oi!? What have you done to my JoJo!" You pointed a finger at the criminal that was reading some sort of backward comic book. It was called 'Manga' right? With his dark sharp eyes almost covered by his hat you knew he was bad news. Luckily you were here to save your pure innocent friend from this fiend. 

"What the hell are you blabbing about?" He sent you a cold hard glare as he looked up from what he was reading. You let out a gasp as you covered your mouth with the back of your hand. You couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. Good thing your JoJo was as pure as an angel and would never say such things. Wait...could it be...? That your dear JoJo was forced to be a servant for this demon!? You knew how to handle such devils and you would make sure he never hurt your JoJo again!

Backing out of the doorway you quickly ran to Mrs. Holly with tears in your eyes. "Mrs. Holly-Sannn...!" You cried out as you held onto her apron with tears in your eyes. "Oh no! What's wrong, (Y/n)?" Holly questioned with a concerned look on face. "There's a mean stranger in JoJo's room! He's so mean and even told me to 'shut the h-e-double-hockey-sticks up'! That strange man is a delinquent!" You told her as she patted your back but understood what you were saying. Man, what would you do without Holly?

"Oh (Y/n), that is JoJo! He's just going through puberty so he has changed a lot since you left! But he is still a good child and would never do anything to hurt anybody." She told you with a smile on her face. You were so stunned by her words to that you just stared at her in disbelief. That Delinquent? Was your JoJo? That's more likely than you think.

Walking away from Holly you went back to the room where 'JoJo' was at. Peeking into the doorway you simply stared at the sack of beef. Now that you actually looked at him you notice just how strange he looked. 

A tall mass of beef? Check. A cap ripped so badly in the back you can't tell where his hair starts? Check. Imitating blue eyes that would obliterate you before you could speak? Check. That strange ass purple aura glowing around him? Check. What were you even 'checking' for you didn't know yourself. All you knew was that JoJo was not treated well by Puberty.

"What the hell are you staring at?" When he spoke you suddenly froze in your spot. 'Wow he is so fucking scary...' You thought as you reached into your bag. You were never sure of what to do in these situations but you had an idea. 

"You...you want a carrot...?" You asked him as you held out a perfectly good orange carrot for him to eat. 'I've heard that giving food to animals help gain their trust!' You thought proudly with your knowledge in mind. 

"Yare Yare Daze..." He pulled down his cap, "What am I? An animal?" He asked in an annoyed tone. "I also got some ranch-" But you quickly shut up when you felt the anger radiating off of him. Damn was this guy hard to talk to. 

It's like you couldn't even tell what he was thinking. 

Just kidding. You always knew what your JoJo was thinking. Even if he turned into a delinquent straight out of the books. Like damn what did he do? Read 'How to be a Delinquent for Dummies'? Although you couldn't judge too much since you had also changed from when you were a child. You had used to be quiet and reserved until JoJo helped break you out of your shell. Well, more of you only really showed emotions around him and his family but whatever...

\---

Annoying JoJo was probably your one and only favorite pass time. Although the consequences were deadly it was definitely worth it to get the reaction out of him. After all, now that it had been two years he now seemed like an emotionless statue that only showed one (1) emotion. Talk about boring!

But of course, coming up with a plan to annoy him was a bit of a tricky one. You wanted to make sure you wouldn't get punted across the field like a football but you also wanted to make him laugh and smile. Such a shame he decided to become a delinquent so you were never sure well you'll see it again. 

So slamming his room door open once again you knew what to do. "Hey JoJo, I can see into the future-"

"No."

"But don't you want to hear your future-"

"No."

You grabbed him by the collar of his uniform and (attempted to) shake him back and forth. "BUT JOJO! Your future is so funny to look at! You end up fighting a vampire! And you make friends with people other than me!" But despite this being the truth JoJo looked like he didn't believe you one bit. Well, more if he thought you belonged in a mental asylum. "Get off of me." He grabbed your hands and pushed them away. "Yare yare, you became so annoying." But hearing this you looked at him in the offense. 

"JoJo! You can't be saying anything! You became, like, super ugly! And you also have become, like, super mean too!" You shot at him in defense of your honor. But when he sent you a glare you pointed at him. "That's exactly what I mean!" 

Shaking your head you crossed your arms. "Such a shame, JoJo. Do you want a carrot? I heard carrots make you more handsome and not ugly." You held out another carrot and it was smacked away. "Can't you be quiet?" But you didn't hear him say this. "It's okay JoJo. Soon once puberty is over you will be almost as gorgeous as me~" Smiling at yourself in the random mirror that you pulled out of nowhere. 

"Just get out of my room..." But hearing him say this you shook your head. "JoJo this just won't do! You need to get out more often! And I happen to know the best place to go!" Grabbing him by his muscular arm you did your best with your childlike strength to pull Jotaro out of his room. 

You could feel the sweat run down your face as this was probably the most you had ever worked out. 

"JoJo get your heavy ass up I can't--!!" You dropped him down on the floor as you only made it halfway across the room. Jotaro simply crossed his arms as he stared at you.

"Don't give me that look! You are going to experience the life of a normal teenager and you will enjoy it! Come on, JoJo! You have to hurry or we'll be late!" 

"Yare Yare Daze...Fine, just get out so I can change." He told you as he got up from the floor. You did a victory pose as you danced your way out of his room. Jotaro simply stared at you and wondered how America could change someone so much. Well it was also partly his fault bit he wouldn't say it. 

Closing the door behind you you pulled out the Manga that Jotaro was reading earlier. "Cool Shock B.T..." You said under your breath when you read the title. A disappointed look came on your face as you hoped it would be 18+ manga so you could tease JoJo about it. 'Oh well...' You thought as you placed the Manga on one of the rocks laying beside the small pond he had in his yard. 

'Wish I was this rich...Oh wait. I am!' You smirked to yourself as you flaunt you money around. And by money you meant the coupons that you found in the newspapers. Don't judge, these coupons help your broke ass save money. 

The door slide opened behind you to reveal Kujo Jotaro himself.

"Let's hurry JoJo! If we don't make it to the party we'll be late!" Jotaro gave you a confused look. "Party?" He questioned you but you simply smiled at him. "Well duh! I have to introduce you to someone I met while in America! His name is-" But before you coukd finish your sentence you tripped on-

Absolutely nothing. You didn't think it was possible to trip on nothing but here you are proving the world and yourself wrong. But while falling you half expected for Jotaro or SOMEONE to catch you but the world wasn't that kind. So when your face met the hard oak floor beneath you it made you wish you weren't so clumsy. 

"What the fuck-" Jotaro stared at your fallen form as he wondered what the fuck was coming out of your pocket. "Is that...spaghetti?" He was so confused as why why spaghetti was falling out of your pocket it stunned him. 

Turning to face Jotaro you gave him a glare. 

"Do not judge me, JoJo." You stuffed the spaghetti noodles back inside of your pocket and got up from the ground. Yes, you did infact have cooked spaghetti in your pocket. But you had a logical reason behind this. What is the logical reason? If only you knew yourself...

Saying your goodbyes to Ms. Kujo you waved her off as you and Jotaro got inside of the cab.

"When we get to the party we'll meet someone who I wanted to introduce to you ever since I met him! Ya know, he's kinda like you in a way! He's shy and very hard to approach but that didn't stop me from becoming his friend." You then continued to speak about your time in America as Jotaro listened with his gaze looking out the window. 

Reaching the household in no time you payed the taxi driver and jumped out of the vehicle as you did a pose in midair. Jotaro could only hide his eyes with the tip of his hat as he was already embarrassed being seen with you. 

"Let's hurry, JoJo!" You grabbed his arm and pulled him to the gates of the two story house. While tugging him you just noticed how tall Jotaro was. Wasn't the American's taller by the British by 2 inches? And wasn't the minimum height of a normal Japanese citizen less than 6ft? So why the hell was he so tall in the first place? Did he just chug down milk every single day while you were gone? Ughh, you rather not think about too much. After all even your friend was almost as tall as Jotaro as well.

Now that you were really thinking it Ms. Kujo was tall by Japanese standards as well. You sweated at the thought of the three of them growing anymore in height. Truly a terrifying sight to imagine indeed. 

Now at the gates you got down on one knee. Jotaro, at first, thought you were tying your shoes. But after seeing you stared at him with your hands folded on one knee he grew confused. "What the hell are you doing?" And you gave him a look in return. As if what you were doing was the most obvious thing in the world. "Dumbass. Get on my knee and hop over the wall. Duh!" He swore he never wanted to punch you so hard before.

"I don't do breaking and entering..." 

"There IS a party, JoJo. Can't you just trust me?"

"Can't we just ring the doorbell-"

"No! Then it wouldn't be a suprise! If the person knows were coming then what fun is that?!"

"There is no party."

"JoJo, you do not realize how much you annoy me. Like seriously. You are a real paIN IN MY A S S-"

"Bitch."

"Oh? So that's how you want to play, huh? Fucking fight me, JoJo. Eat my ass."

And now the air was thick with awkwardness as you both glared at each other. But Jotaro was also slightly sweating at your statement. Wasn't it "Kiss my ass"? The only sound that could be heard was the cars that would occasionally drive by. The neighborhood that your friend lived was a quiet one where people would act like normal humans. Something you have yet to master in. 

"Just get your ass over this gate. If you do I'll take you to the aquarium and show you the new crab species they added." You knew that saying anything about sea life would get him right on board. Who knew JoJo had such a cute interest? Well duh, you did of course. 

Jotaro tilted his hat down to hide the small smile on his face. "Spider crabs?" 

And you nodded to his words. "Spider crabs." Although you didn't know why the actual FUCK he wanted to see those demon crabs. They were three fucking feet wide and their long legs freaked you the fuck out. In fact the first time you had seen one you started to cry instantly and nearly shot the dammed thing. But of course that is a story for another time. 

Feeling Jotaro stand on your knee you could have sworn you heard a snapping sound. A single tear rolled down your cheek as you hoist Jotaro over the gate. You wanted to scream curses really loudly into the abiss but knew that would get you both caught so you stayed silent. 

Once you were both over the gate you led him over to the side of the house. You motioned for him to stay silent as you pointed to the farthest window in the house. Which happened to be on the 2nd floor but it was nothing you couldn't handle. 

Which is why uou had grabbed the ladder and placed it quietly against the house. 

Jotaro wondered how you even knew where the ladder was at. You had only just got back to Japan today. He also internally questioned if you have done this before. Breaking and entering that is. But he would trust you on this one since you told him you were the guy's friend. And who knows? Maybe his parents didn't allow friends after dark so that's why you both had to sneak in. 

But if only that was true, JoJo. Because as soon as Jotaro and you climbed into the male's bedroom you pulled out some strange bottle. "What are you doing-" But you didn't listen to Jotaro's words. Instead you pulled the blanket off of the red head and tossed it to the side. 

"(Y/n). What the hell are you doing?" Jotaro questioned you again but you simply grinned at him. "Shhh...Our dear friend Kakyoin is in for a suprise." And Jotaro's eyes widen when he see you putting the strange liquid onto a rag. 

And the next thing he knew the red head's eyes shot open as he quickly sat up in his bed. "Who are you-" 

"Hey does this smell like chloroform to you?" And you pressed the rag to his face. Now in a real life situation it would take up to at least 5 full minutes to knock someone out with chloroform. But lucky lucky for you you have a stand that could replay events that had already happen before. But that was a more simple way of putting it of course.

"『 DÉJÀ VU 』"

And before you knew it the red head was out cold. But now you would have to hurry since chloroform was a volatile liquid and the oxygen would make it lose effectiveness rather quickly. So taking out some rope you tie him up on his upper half of his body.

Now Jotaro on the other hand would have stopped you the moment he seen you put the rag to the red head's face. But after seeing that...was it a spirit? Demon? Well after seeing that spirit behind you he froze in his place. What the fuck even was that? Have you been cursed because of someone else? Did the red head cursed you? What if the red head curses Jotaro because he decided to come along with you? He knew he shouldn't have accepted your offer. There was no damn party. He should have known there was no party. After all you only just got here today and you were kidnapping someone.

Hoisting Kakyoin up and onto your shoulder you turned to Jotaro with a smile. "Alright, JoJo! Let's go back to your crib."

Jotaro was now walking over to you in your direction with his hands in his pockets. You didn't even get a proper chance to react as Jotaro had already sent a punch you way. You gritted your teeth as you were forced to drop the teen in your arms and stumbled back. Gritting your teeth you felt the warm liquid run down the side of your mouth. God damn could he pack a punch. 

"What the hell you bastard?! Why did you punch me?" You rubbed the side of your face to sooth the pain but it only made it worse. "Have you gone senile? Your breaking the law." Jotaro threw another punch you way but you dodged it and grabbed his arm. "As if you can talk, JoJo! I'm sure you have broken more crimes than I ever did in a lifetime!" 

"ORA!" Seeing a purple arm reach out and grab your neck you knew you were in some deep shit. But you also refused to let yourself get your ass beaten so easily. Swinging your legs up high you placed them on Jotaro's chest as you kicked him back hard enough for him to crash in the dresser behind him. 

"I've been itching for a fight! Especially with you, JoJo!" You grinned at him and showed off your blood stained teeth. You watched as Jotaro rises from the now smashed red oak dresser in the teen's room. Perhaps after this you could get Jotaro to help you pay for it. 

Jotaro's face was covered with the shadows of the room as he faced you. The moonlight from the window shed light to outline the side of his face. 

A purple figure appears behind him as it glows off a deep purple. It's long hair flowing as if it were water. It's large mass of muscle defined so well that it looks like a fine Roman marble statue. Strange as it was; his stand reminded you that of a knight that you've read about in a old book. One that was born in the 16th Century as was executed over royal rivalry.

It was a beautiful sight to see...

Too bad you were gonna get your ass handed to you. Which is why you were going to use your very special technique. One that has been crafted with years of training until it was perfected in the year of 1984. 

"JO-...JOJO WAIT! HEAR ME OUT REAL QUICK!" You raised your arms in defense as you watched him. Seeing his movements slow down he awaited for what you had to say. "No stupid questions." His voice was low and you could tell that any wrong step would set him off.

Now it was time to put your plan into action. You haven't done this in years but you hopes your skills were still polished. 

"I...Uhhhh..." Fuck. Wow your memory just whoosh. What were you even thinking about again? Hmm, maybe the Joestar technique you learned will work better after all...

"OOOOOOHHHHHH!!!" You screamed as you sprinted out if the room and slammed the door behind you. Looking around the hallway you had seen a staircase just a few feet away from you.

The door behind you shattered as a new hole was formed just a few inches from your face. The glowing arm had it's hand in a fist as it retracted it from the door. Hearing it's battle cry once more you duck and roll away from the door. .


End file.
